Woman Engineer

Woman Engineer - Engineering and Lifestyle
RELATIONSHIPS

Long Distance Relationship

September 8, 2018

 

It came to my attention recently that my romantic relationship feels like a long distance relationship. You’re wondering how far? Well I can’t really tell. It’s not hard to measure a concrete distance and you are right! That is because the distance in my relationship with my boyfriend is not a concrete distance. It’s a time distance. Although we live and work less than 5 miles from each other we don’t get to see each other often. So, naturally I feel like I can write to you guys about what it’s like to live in a long distance relationship haha. Please don’t hate me. 

Today, I wanted to write a little about how I feel when it comes to a long distance relationship. As some of you know, I am 4 years into my romantic relationship with my most wonderful boyfriend. We are very fortunate to live more or less 15 minutes from each other but we don’t get to see each other very often, unfortunately. We both work a salary man’s job, sometimes going to 12 hour days. 2/5 days a week my boyfriend doesn’t come home until 11pm. Adding on to that, we don’t live with each other. They say, the weekend is for friends and family and that’s exactly how we’ve been doing this relationship. I even feel like the distance helps us. The distance allow us to do our own things throughout the week, keep our lives separated until the weekend. It cuts down on the jealousy and build trust.

How I do it:

Don’t compare with others. 

Just as every person is different,  multiply that x2 is how different relationships are compared to one another. I noticed that as soon as I started comparing my relationship with others, I started to get very unhappy. So after a decade or so of relationship experience, I can say that this is the biggest advice I can give.

Communicate clearly.

Make sure to I share my honest feelings. But I also have to keep in mind that compromising is also very important and I will never get everything I want.

Use technology.

I feel like this would be a really big help in a long distance relationship! But just understand that everyone has their own opinion about using technology to communicate. And being on long phone calls gets boring quick.

Don’t have technology and you might forget? Take mental notes and write down what you wanted to share then share it all when you do see him/her. I still send myself funny things and bring it up when we do see each other.

Build trust.

I noticed that all the above would only work in a relationship if I truly trust the person I am with. I used to get very suspicious of everything but I noticed that if I start to question things it would only hurt me. There are always 2 sides to a story.

Self confidence.

The last thing I want everyone out there to know is self confidence. If you feel like your life depends on one person, there is something wrong with you. They always say, “don’t put all your gold in one pot.” Therefore, why does this not apply to a relationship? What I’ve learned from my mother is that, no one can live your life for you, only you can do that! You are your partner until the last breath! So be confident because you are a freaking BADASS!

Love,

Kat

 

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