I had a group of friends, 5 people I met in high school. We liked to call ourselves good friends but in reality we were not. I have never had a chance to help any of these people with their personal lives nor have I ever came to these people for help. I really doubt they have time for me and honestly I don’t have the time to help either. I have debated for a while whether or not I should dump my group of “best friends.” But it wasn’t until last week, after almost 9 years of knowing these people that I had to stop.
A lot led to this unfortunates and I’ll walk everyone through it. This group consists of 6 people, myself (I’m the person in the group that doesn’t want to take shit from my friends, I like to think I’m the realistic person.) 4 other girls, Girl #1, she went to school for computer science. Maybe I can get her to write a post…She’s a quiet one not much for confrontation. #1 is very hard working, probably worked the hardest out of all of us. She has a humble background and she was always open to try new things. Bad thing about her is that she doesn’t like to disappoint the majority. Girl #2, she was also another quiet one, this one is very unrealistic. She grew up very disciplined, she is deadly afraid of her mother. She is 22 years old and has a curfew of 9pm. But we were very close in high school. I went to her place almost everyday after school. Girl #3 and I have been friends since 10th grade, we hung out a lot in 11th grade as we were in a few clubs together. She’s fun and when we both turned 21 she was the only one down to drink. She also understood more about relationships but at the same time she had a lot of opinions and she likes to share and impose it on others. Sure share your opinions, I’d love to discuss it. Just don’t force it onto me. That’s stupidly annoying. Girl #4, another quiet one, she went into nursing for school. She is really quiet and loves animals. I really wished I could stay friends with her but she took a side haha during the breakup. Then we have the 1 guy. He’s cool, but he can be quite a girl sometimes. I hated that he thought of himself as an instigator. My mother has always taught us to keep our mouths shut if we have nothing good to say so I’ll stop there.
Of course when we started college we had a lot less time to hang out with each other. I of course was chasing after my boyfriend, involved in quite a few clubs and did not have time for my group of friends. However, I was there if they needed me. I was there if they had a break up and we would sit and have tea and talk for a large amount of time. We did this maybe 3 times. They too were there for me too during the incoherent 3am phone calls. I truly still care about them but we as a group know it didn’t work out. We had 2 fights before I said it was time I go. Towards the end of our relationship, I was getting a lot of heat for not being sensitive. I always hated that about my friends. They talk about being able to say the truth to each other and being able to say anything. But I forgot that they were girls and not the guys. With guys I could call them bitches all I want and they would not get butt hurt. They might be dying inside but they got to much pride to show it. They had 2 interventions for me and 1 failed intervention. When I walked out of the third intervention, they had a conversation on the side with each other. Then the “instigator” sent an extremely vague message to the group chat. That’s when I thought, I was done with this relationship.
So you’re curious about whether I still talk to any of the 5 people. I still do, I send happy birthday messages. I talk to 2 of the girls sometimes, they seem conflicted with who they should be loyal to, so I don’t push them.
I never thought that a friendship could be as hard as a romantic relationship. I was having fights similar to fights that I had with my boyfriend. Being busy as I am, I can barely handle romantic relationship fights. So in order to save time, I selfishly removed myself. I could have tried to make the friendship work because every girl needs her girlfriends. But I’m sure they will find someone to replace me, I was never that good of a friend to begin with.