Woman Engineer

Woman Engineer - Engineering and Lifestyle

Why I Dumped My High School Friends

By on August 30, 2017

I had a group of friends, 5 people I met in high school. We liked to call ourselves good friends but in reality we were not. I have never had a chance to help any of these people with their personal lives nor have I ever came to these people for help. I really doubt they have time for me and honestly I don’t have the time to help either. I have debated for a while whether or not I should dump my group of “best friends.” But it wasn’t until last week, after almost 9 years of knowing these people that I had to stop.

A lot led to this unfortunates and I’ll walk everyone through it. This group consists of 6 people, myself (I’m the person in the group that doesn’t want to take shit from my friends, I like to think I’m the realistic person.) 4 other girls, Girl #1, she went to school for computer science. Maybe I can get her to write a post…She’s a quiet one not much for confrontation. #1 is very hard working, probably worked the hardest out of all of us. She has a humble background and she was always open to try new things. Bad thing about her is that she doesn’t like to disappoint the majority. Girl #2, she was also another quiet one, this one is very unrealistic. She grew up very disciplined, she is deadly afraid of her mother. She is 22 years old and has a curfew of 9pm. But we were very close in high school. I went to her place almost everyday after school. Girl #3 and I have been friends since 10th grade, we hung out a lot in 11th grade as we were in a few clubs together. She’s fun and when we both turned 21 she was the only one down to drink. She also understood more about relationships but at the same time she had a lot of opinions and she likes to share and impose it on others. Sure share your opinions, I’d love to discuss it. Just don’t force it onto me. That’s stupidly annoying. Girl #4, another quiet one, she went into nursing for school. She is really quiet and loves animals. I really wished I could stay friends with her but she took a side haha during the breakup. Then we have the 1 guy. He’s cool, but he can be quite a girl sometimes. I hated that he thought of himself as an instigator. My mother has always taught us to keep our mouths shut if we have nothing good to say so I’ll stop there.

Of course when we started college we had a lot less time to hang out with each other. I of course was chasing after my boyfriend, involved in quite a few clubs and did not have time for my group of friends. However, I was there if they needed me. I was there if they had a break up and we would sit and have tea and talk for a large amount of time. We did this maybe 3 times. They too were there for me too during the incoherent 3am phone calls. I truly still care about them but we as a group know it didn’t work out. We had 2 fights before I said it was time I go. Towards the end of our relationship, I was getting a lot of heat for not being sensitive. I always hated that about my friends. They talk about being able to say the truth to each other and being able to say anything. But I forgot that they were girls and not the guys. With guys I could call them bitches all I want and they would not get butt hurt. They might be dying inside but they got to much pride to show it. They had 2 interventions for me and 1 failed intervention. When I walked out of the third intervention, they had a conversation on the side with each other. Then the “instigator” sent an extremely vague message to the group chat. That’s when I thought, I was done with this relationship.

So you’re curious about whether I still talk to any of the 5 people. I still do, I send happy birthday messages. I talk to 2 of the girls sometimes, they seem conflicted with who they should be loyal to, so I don’t push them.

I never thought that a friendship could be as hard as a romantic relationship. I was having fights similar to fights that I had with my boyfriend. Being busy as I am, I can barely handle romantic relationship fights. So in order to save time, I selfishly removed myself. I could have tried to make the friendship work because every girl needs her girlfriends. But I’m sure they will find someone to replace me, I was never that good of a friend to begin with.

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Woman Engineer – Lifestyle: The Feminism Meme

By on August 14, 2017

“I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a ‘common purpose’. Because pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands. And fight songs. And a list of people they’re going to visit at 3am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people. But I love individuals.” -George Carlin.

The quote above by George Carlin explains exactly how I feel about feminism. Once upon a time, long, long, long time ago, try the 15th century. Which was the first time a woman picked up a pen to defend her sex. A lady name Christine de Pizan who wrote Epitre au Dieu d’Amour (Epistle to the God of Love.) But of course before her, there has been many physical incidents of women defending their sex.

However, my history is no where qualified to talk about those incidents. In fact, I should provide a disclaimer that I’m in no way qualified to talk about feminism. I am simply here to discuss my point of view, feminism is now a meme. And I will admit that everything here is my rant about “wanna be” feminist.

I first came upon the word “feminism” 7 years ago, when I participated in policy debate in high school one of my “kritiks” was on feminism. I was introduced to people like Tricial Ruiz who is the author to “Feminist Theory and International Relations: The Feminist Challenge to Realism and Liberalism” At the time, we were using the “kritik” to defend the reason why we must pull our troops out of the Middle East. We had a sentence in there “Challenging the myth that wars are fought to protect women, children, and others stereotypical viewed as “vulnerable,” feminists point to the high level of civilian casualties in contemporary wars.” Basically saying that because we are trying to protect women, we must fight more wars and that leads to high casualties. WTF?! Are you kidding? Did you run out of people to blame???

I believe the root of feminism is perfect. I mean equality between men and women, not only that but every other sex should be equal. Yes please! I would love for the world to know that women are not the only sex being sex trafficked, women are not the only victims of domestic violence and men are not the only sex that can put food on the table. A lot of things should be equal, and a lot can be but a lot can’t just because our human anatomy are not built that way.

Anyway, back to why Carlin is relevant, he said, once a group starts to have a common purpose, where they start singing their little songs and wearing their little hats it becomes ugly. I think it becomes ugly when people in the group starts to play the telephone game. There’s always the original group, whose ideals are almost perfect. Then they want to spread it to the next group, then that group tells it to the next group, so on and so on. Meaning, the theory of feminism is no longer pure. And unfortunately, there are a lot of “Wikipedias” (the word I use to describe a person that talks like they got the information off of Wikipedia and push it on another that they really know what they’re talking about, like everything that comes out of them are facts.-Not to get me wrong, I consider myself a Wikipedia too…) on the streets.  Fast forward 6 centuries, after at least 4 waves of large woman suffrage moments in the U.S. (that I know of) we have the 2017’s definitions of feminism. And I must say there are quite a few definition, examples: “Hey world I support feminism, I believe in equality between men and women, so I’m going to give myself to every man on the streets because it’s only equal. If men can f*** anyone they want to, I can too.” Or “I support feminism and therefore, I don’t see why women have to be the ones carrying a womb for 9 months.” I can go on all day. But here’s the thing, WHAT???? When is it okay to hurt our bodies and did I go to sleep for 100 years, skipped the part where men can now produce eggs and carry a baby? I want to fight for equality too, but I also know what the physical capabilities of a woman and a man is.

I will cut it here for now, but remember ya’ll, fight for equality. Don’t fight so that we can be better than men. God created the woman so that she can be the partner of the man, not his servant and vice versa. So please have respect for each other and love each other!


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Something a little different…Sex Trafficking in our Communities

By on August 3, 2017

I want to address human trafficking. I have started doing my own research of human trafficking a year ago. However, it is way too big of a problem for myself to address, I would like to address a huge market under the umbrella of human trafficking, sex trafficking through kidnapping in our community. I don’t even want to address the problems with women/men who are forced into sex trafficking through different means or sex trafficking globally. I first came onto this form of sex trafficking through a Hollywood show-Hawaii 5-0, surprising isn’t it? The show does well in explaining this problem, it really opened my eyes, more like it scared the heck out of me. It made me worry for every young girl I know. They took on a problem that no one knows about, did you know that children at the age of 12 are being kidnapped targeted into sex trafficking? From there they are taken to a hotel every night to have unspeakable things done to them by well-dressed and educated men not greasy, hamburger eating men. This is one branch that makes up the 150 billion dollars sex trafficking industry (TIME 2014). I want to say that we can teach our girls to not fall into social media schemes or to stay away from strangers. But that’s not a problem that we morally should have to discuss! Why can’t we punish the men who pay for these services as sex traffickers?!

Anyway, here is a list of how to spot sex trafficking provided by humantraffickinghotline.org

The signs of a sex traffic girl or boy.

Common Work and Living Conditions:
  • Is not free to leave or come and go as he/she wishes
  • Is in the commercial sex industry and has a pimp / manager
  • Is unpaid, paid very little, or paid only through tips
  • Works excessively long and/or unusual hours
  • Is not allowed breaks or suffers under unusual restrictions at work
  • Owes a large debt and is unable to pay it off
  • Was recruited through false promises concerning the nature and conditions of his/her work
  • High security measures exist in the work and/or living locations (e.g. opaque windows, boarded up windows, bars on windows, barbed wire, security cameras, etc.)
Poor Mental Health or Abnormal Behavior:
  • Is fearful, anxious, depressed, submissive, tense, or nervous/paranoid
  • Exhibits unusually fearful or anxious behavior after bringing up law enforcement
  • Avoids eye contact
Poor Physical Health:
  • Lacks medical care and/or is denied medical services by employer
  • Appears malnourished or shows signs of repeated exposure to harmful chemicals
  • Shows signs of physical and/or sexual abuse, physical restraint, confinement, or torture
Lack of Control:
  • Has few or no personal possessions
  • Is not in control of his/her own money, no financial records, or bank account
  • Is not in control of his/her own identification documents (ID or passport)
  • Is not allowed or able to speak for themselves (a third party may insist on being present and/or translating)
  • Claims of just visiting and inability to clarify where he/she is staying/address
  • Lack of knowledge of whereabouts and/or of what city he/she is in
  • Loss of sense of time
  • Has numerous inconsistencies in his/her story

Note: According to federal law, any minor under the age of 18 engaging in commercial sex is a victim of sex trafficking, regardless of the presence of force, fraud, or coercion.

You can make a difference in a young  boy or girl’s life by bringing it to the attention of an authority. Please help…

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