My nunhood story started at the age of 12, I was sitting in Sunday mass one summer afternoon when a wonderfully sweet nun stepped up to the podium to speak. She was dressed in all white with the exception of her black shoes. She spoke invited all the young girls from age 16-30 to join her convent for a “Come and See.” A come and see is a weekend event that the nuns of that convent host to encourage young girls into the path of religious service. As soon as I turned 16 I started my journey of nunhood. By the age of 17 I had attended multiple retreats and come and sees at different convents all over California. When I entered my last year of high school, I was adamant that I wanted to pursue nunhood for the rest of my life. (I know right? Giving up my life at 17…) When high school ended I committed myself to God.
My convent experience was a short 3 months. I would say I was in a 3 months relationship. It was an extremely committed relationship, it was my relationship with God. But unlike other girls, I didn’t last long enough for the outfit.
I wanted to become a servant to my God at the age of 17, I stayed at the convent for 2 months during the summer and 3 more weeks at the beginning of my college career. Summer was really fun, I had a lot of sisters my age. We did a lot of singing, dancing, volunteering and worshiping. Although we had a really strict schedule, it was really fun. Good things ended when I started my first semester of university. I was not allowed a car in the convent so I had to carpool with my sisters to school. But most of the sisters were done by 5 and they all went home for afternoon prayers and dinner. I had a 7pm class and a lot of the times I didn’t have a ride until 11pm. After being left at school a few times, they allowed me to have a car. Some girls don’t even have their own phone or car. Night out was 11pm so a lot of the times for those 3 weeks, breakfast and lunch were my only meals. Not only that, I was getting scolded and confronted by my superior mother every week for talking to boys. And it always started with, “it has come to my attention that your sisters saw you spending time and being flirtatious with men.” I hated these confrontations because no matter how many times I begged her to understand my commitment and to trust me she wouldn’t listen. For those 3 weeks, I lost a lot of faith in my religion. It was also here that I learned to speak to God, I was finally able to see Jesus as a friend. He was the person that I could confide in, He was my shoulder when I needed someone.
After 2 months and 3 weeks, I had a sit down with my Superior Mother during our evaluation day. It is to this day, one of the most horrifying rejections I’ve ever gotten. For 5 years straight, I wanted nothing but to become a nun. She told me that my career choice was not fit for nunhood and she encouraged me to try other paths. She gave me 3 days in silence to rethink my career path and my purpose in life. She said that I must choose one or another. In those 3 days of silence, I thought a lot about my ultimate goal. On the first night I dreamed about a boy, this boy leaned against a door frame looking into a small room while I was staring at him from a couch. He was wearing a beanie, he had an oversize tshirt on, sweatpants and a laptop bag. When the morning came, I tried so hard to get rid of that dream by thinking of my ultimate goal and God all day, that night I dreamed of a typhoon that happened when I was living in Vietnam. In my dream, I was hiding by myself in a dark purple curtain because I was scared of the pounding thunder and the rain to come. That year crops were lost and 3 people in my town died as their dirt houses washed away. I knew that was a sign and I took that as a sign to continue my career.
I left the convent that very next week. The boy in the door frame does exist I came to realize that very same week. From then on, I’ve been head over heels about him. In short, there are 3 paths that one can take in life. The single path, the marriage path, or the holy orders path. I jumped into the holy orders path and swam in it for some time and it wasn’t for me and that was my reality. I’m completely happy with how things are now and cannot wait for more to come. Let me know how you feel about this topic and if you would like to hear more about my experience in Nunhood. This is only a short version.